WHERE DO WE FIND LOVE?

It is the very idea that love is always found within.  We are true beings that emenate love from within.  Whatever our circumstances, we project love in differing degrees.  To search for love means to reconnect with ourselves - to find, again, the incessant flow of unconditional love and joy in us.

It is through our obsession with Past (guilt) and Future (worries) events that hold us back from finding true love from within.  As OSHO states, 

"Learn the art of removing all the hinders of love. It is a negative process. It is like digging a well: You go on removing many layers of earth, stones, rocks, and then suddenly there is water. The water was always there; it was an undercurrent. Now you have removed all the barriers, the water is available. So is love: Love is the undercurrent of your being. It is already flowing, but there are many rocks, many layers of earth to be removed."

What Is Perfection?

I will make mistakes...I am not perfect...I am beginning to understand that gentle words and positive influences help shape perfection.  Perfection is when we are able to communicate with each other through the ups and downs ...and to show vulnerability.  Perfection is BEING....perfection is being real...and showing our real feelings....and communicating our real feelings....

Perfection may hurt...perfection may tickle...perfection may feel like bliss....Perfection may be a combination of all the above...rolled up in a ball and maybe even have that ball stomped on!

In the end...perfection may mean having resilience...accepting mistakes...and being able to face another day with optimism...

The Power of Camaraderie and Support

Must we face change and the fear of the unknown alone?

It can be perceived that to battle through change and the unknown we must muster up strength to face adversity.  Through this we may be mistakenly conditioned to believe that, if we have independently battled through the 'ugly', then we would come out stronger than before taking steps to heal.

I believe that it does take the individual to acknowledge pain and to take steps to heal.  I also acknowledge that many gravitate towards the repetitive pattern of identifying the Self with pain.  Hence, pain is perpetuated and so is the idea of our 'unhappy selves'.  To face pain alone means to be consiously aware of our mind patterns and move into the state of Presence and Being.  Through this, we will create, as Eckhart Tolle states, a "transmutation of pain" where all pain bodies will eventually cease to exist.

We don't have to face this alone because if we are "fortunate enough to find someone who is intensely concious, if [we] can be with them and join them in the state of presence, that can be helpful and we can accelerate [the elimination of the repetitive cycle of pain]" (Eckhart Tolle).

 I agree with Eckhart that "...in this way, [our] own light will quickly grow stronger".

Calm Amidst the Storm

           Calm Amidst the Storm - Oil on canvas (8x10)

There is something to be said about facing pain...

As Eckhart Tolle states, "If you are able to stay present and alert at the time of [pain] and watch whatever you feel within, rather than be taken over by it, it affords an opportunity for the most powerful spiritual practice, and the rapid transmutation of all past pain  becomes possible." With this, I describe our efforts as establishing calm amidst the storm.

Weathering the Storm...

Weathering the Storm  - Oil on canvas (8x10)

The Feeling of Now

How does it feel to be in the present moment?

It feels like a soft heartbeat beating rhythmically within...
It feels like a self-assured ball of energy lighting up my core...
It feels like a glow of confidence channelling from my heart to the tips of my fingers and toes...
It feels like a clear mind ready for more concious awakening...
It feels like confusion in the most positive sense of the word, for it is one of the first times I am not enthralled in emotional drama, worry or fear...
It feels like my mind is an empty canvas...ready to be filled with joy...and a smile or two...
It feels like...
                      ...nothing...
It feels...
              ....liberating...


I am fortunate to have found the true feeling of just Being.  Although the present moment is sometimes described by Eckhart Tolle as "unacceptable, unpleasant, or awful", I can trust that if I give myself the chance to experience the feeling of calm...I will experience the stillness and the positive energy within me.  For the first time in a long time...I am beginning to love my life...I am excited.

Nature and Intuition

I am practicing the art of not only being, but the art of following my intuition.  I was once told that throughout our day we find more than several encounters where listening to our intuition is put to the test.  

This piece was inspired by my walk through a trail at Lost Lagoon (Stanley Park).  I was unfamiliar with the path I was taking while blading, but trusted my inner voice.  My inner voice led me to stop at a bench, tug my roller blades off, and head toward a path on my right.  I was inclined to turn back and put my blades back on as I heard loud and obnoxious voices coming from a near distance.  I realized that if I continued down that path I would be walking around a mini golf course where I would be unable to escape the incessant voices that cut into the peaceful silence of nature.  My intuition told me to stay on the trail and explore.  I found myself under a large canopy of pink Rhododendrons.   I felt as if I was in a fairy tale.  The blooms bunched in groups of 5 that mimicked pink lanterns hung high under trees.  I twirled around and around and was amazed at the number of Rhododendron 'lanterns' that were suspended above my head from tree branches. 

I will be the first to tell you this...I cried at the sheer beauty of the flowers before me.  I have never equated tears of joy with nature.  Today, I did just that.

Creating No More Pain in the Present



I followed my intuition today and found myself in a bamboo forest.  I put my hands on the cold bamboo...I felt a self assured energy both from me and from the bamboo itself.  It was beautiful...it felt beautiful.  It's energy told me it is strong - it is free from thought...that it is just being...for the sake of nature..for the beauty of nature...free from judgement or thoughts...i cried...no words could describe what I felt...I just cried.

I looked beyond the bamboo forest and saw three large trees...I looked upward and noticed the branches and leaves hanging way above...creating a canopy for me to sit under...a canopy to invite me in.  The branches and leaves bent and curved and almost created a dome over my head.  I knew I was suppose to be there at that moment.  I looked at the grass and marvelled at the moss that had grown to create a soft blanket for me to sit on as I had forgotten to pack mine. I was drawn to a little patch of sunlight that had shone down from a crack in the canopy above.  The sunlight lit the blanket of moss and invited me to sit and read...

"Create No More Pain in the Present: Nobody's life is entirely free from pain and sorrow.  Isn't it a question of learning to live with them rather than trying to avoid them?...The pain you create now is always from some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is."
-Eckhart Tolle

Life is a-MAZE-ing

Self Worth and Attachment

Moving on...why is it so hard?

It may be the very idea that we are overly reliant on others to begin healing.  It may be the very idea that we are derailed from our path of healing where we are nothing but beings distracted by our need to feel comforted, validated and loved by others.  It may be the very idea that our insecurities lead us to hold on to others with such a firm grip where taking the next step into the unknown is too unbearable to conceive. Through this, we rely on others to give us a sense of Self.

As Eckhart Tolle states, "If you cannot look through [this] collective delusion, you will be condemned to chasing after things for the rest of your life in the vain hope of finding your worth and completion of your sense of self there...".  With respect to healing, we will be condemned to continually chase after a sense of calm and a strong sense of Self if we continue along the path of reliance and attachment to others.

If I say I love you and that I cannot bare to begin healing without your strength, I would have done our love a great disservice.  I agree with Tolle that "...we cannot really honor things if we use them as a means to...try to find ourselves through them".  I am only beginning to understand that "...sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on" (Eckhart Tolle).  I am beginning to understand that it is okay to walk alone...to face uncertainty.  Equally important, it is okay to find my path by myself...for myself.  I will do this because I honor you.

How can we free ourselves from attachment? It is the very idea that "attachment to things [or people] drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them...If you are aware that you are identified with a thing, the identificiation is no longer total" (Tolle).  To speak that you are the "awareness that is aware that there is an attachment...That's the beginning of the transformation of conciousness" (Tolle).

Bridging the Gap Between Past and Future

Why is it that many are unable to heal and move on?

It seems that we often get stuck in limbo where we can't quite gather up the courage to let go of our thoughts and the security from the Past - yet we are terrified to take steps forward to venture into uncertainty...the Future.

It is the very idea that we are not living the Present.  Often, we are passive beings taking little action to initiate change.

As Eckhart Tolle states, "Present moment awareness creates a gap not only in the stream of mind but also in the past-future continuum.  Nothing truly new and creative can come into this world except through that gap, that clear space of infinite possibility."

It is ironic that, in order to heal and to create a bridge to the future, we need to create that bridge by conciously creating a gap for new and positive experiences to unfold.  Through this, the bridge will expand, widen and drive us further away from attachments to the past and future...Hence, living the Now...the Present...

Taking Risks...

Defining the Self

 Many say that through age we get to know ourselves, our likes and dislikes, our passion, our true inner character...Often, we look to defining ourselves with labels to help create our sense of Self...Do we need to define ourselves to truly... BE? It can be perceived that the more we seek to define ourselves the more we feed our egoic minds...Through definition, we feel great, we seek solice in knowing and hoping that others see the same definition we have created for ourselves.  Perhaps the more we actively seek who we are the more we are further driven away from our true characters.  I believe to find our sense of Self we should not involve much thought or planning...this would just be a mere fabrication of our true selves...


"Defining yourself through thought is limiting yourself.  When you fully accept that you don't know, you actually enter a state of peace and clarity that is closer to who you are than thought could ever be." 

     -Eckhart Tolle                                   

Validation...

What does it mean to validate?

To validate is to seek acceptance and confirmation that our choices are just. We often question our own judgements and, therfore, seek guidance in order to fully come to terms with ourselves...our life struggles...

What if validation never comes? Can we find it in ourselves to validate our own sense of being...our own choices and moral judgements?

The answer is there...amidst the chaos...the answer was always there...we just need to continue to BE...live in the NOW...and equally important...find that sense of CALM...

What Is Optimism...

Optimism is taking your first step into the unknown and embracing each and every step of the way.  It is welcoming challenge with excitement with little or no hesitation...Optimism is smiling when life gets tough...laughing when confusion begins to take it`s toll...having faith that things will be okay...

...all the while knowing that we only choose to make the best for ourselves...if we only give ourselves a chance...

Finding Meaning...

What does it mean to find meaning? Finding meaning is sifting through thoughts and making sense of what is true...that is making sense of what IS...

Thoughts are JUDGEMENTS and OPINIONS that can sometimes make us lose our sense of Self.  We need to free ourselves from thoughts...free ourselves from the 'noise' of the everyday...we need to find time to just....BE...

From this...we will eventually find meaning...even when things seem so bleak and confusing...