Self Worth and Attachment

Moving on...why is it so hard?

It may be the very idea that we are overly reliant on others to begin healing.  It may be the very idea that we are derailed from our path of healing where we are nothing but beings distracted by our need to feel comforted, validated and loved by others.  It may be the very idea that our insecurities lead us to hold on to others with such a firm grip where taking the next step into the unknown is too unbearable to conceive. Through this, we rely on others to give us a sense of Self.

As Eckhart Tolle states, "If you cannot look through [this] collective delusion, you will be condemned to chasing after things for the rest of your life in the vain hope of finding your worth and completion of your sense of self there...".  With respect to healing, we will be condemned to continually chase after a sense of calm and a strong sense of Self if we continue along the path of reliance and attachment to others.

If I say I love you and that I cannot bare to begin healing without your strength, I would have done our love a great disservice.  I agree with Tolle that "...we cannot really honor things if we use them as a means to...try to find ourselves through them".  I am only beginning to understand that "...sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on" (Eckhart Tolle).  I am beginning to understand that it is okay to walk alone...to face uncertainty.  Equally important, it is okay to find my path by myself...for myself.  I will do this because I honor you.

How can we free ourselves from attachment? It is the very idea that "attachment to things [or people] drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them...If you are aware that you are identified with a thing, the identificiation is no longer total" (Tolle).  To speak that you are the "awareness that is aware that there is an attachment...That's the beginning of the transformation of conciousness" (Tolle).

Bridging the Gap Between Past and Future

Why is it that many are unable to heal and move on?

It seems that we often get stuck in limbo where we can't quite gather up the courage to let go of our thoughts and the security from the Past - yet we are terrified to take steps forward to venture into uncertainty...the Future.

It is the very idea that we are not living the Present.  Often, we are passive beings taking little action to initiate change.

As Eckhart Tolle states, "Present moment awareness creates a gap not only in the stream of mind but also in the past-future continuum.  Nothing truly new and creative can come into this world except through that gap, that clear space of infinite possibility."

It is ironic that, in order to heal and to create a bridge to the future, we need to create that bridge by conciously creating a gap for new and positive experiences to unfold.  Through this, the bridge will expand, widen and drive us further away from attachments to the past and future...Hence, living the Now...the Present...

Taking Risks...

Defining the Self

 Many say that through age we get to know ourselves, our likes and dislikes, our passion, our true inner character...Often, we look to defining ourselves with labels to help create our sense of Self...Do we need to define ourselves to truly... BE? It can be perceived that the more we seek to define ourselves the more we feed our egoic minds...Through definition, we feel great, we seek solice in knowing and hoping that others see the same definition we have created for ourselves.  Perhaps the more we actively seek who we are the more we are further driven away from our true characters.  I believe to find our sense of Self we should not involve much thought or planning...this would just be a mere fabrication of our true selves...


"Defining yourself through thought is limiting yourself.  When you fully accept that you don't know, you actually enter a state of peace and clarity that is closer to who you are than thought could ever be." 

     -Eckhart Tolle                                   

Validation...

What does it mean to validate?

To validate is to seek acceptance and confirmation that our choices are just. We often question our own judgements and, therfore, seek guidance in order to fully come to terms with ourselves...our life struggles...

What if validation never comes? Can we find it in ourselves to validate our own sense of being...our own choices and moral judgements?

The answer is there...amidst the chaos...the answer was always there...we just need to continue to BE...live in the NOW...and equally important...find that sense of CALM...

What Is Optimism...

Optimism is taking your first step into the unknown and embracing each and every step of the way.  It is welcoming challenge with excitement with little or no hesitation...Optimism is smiling when life gets tough...laughing when confusion begins to take it`s toll...having faith that things will be okay...

...all the while knowing that we only choose to make the best for ourselves...if we only give ourselves a chance...

Finding Meaning...

What does it mean to find meaning? Finding meaning is sifting through thoughts and making sense of what is true...that is making sense of what IS...

Thoughts are JUDGEMENTS and OPINIONS that can sometimes make us lose our sense of Self.  We need to free ourselves from thoughts...free ourselves from the 'noise' of the everyday...we need to find time to just....BE...

From this...we will eventually find meaning...even when things seem so bleak and confusing...